Man Utd Jokes

John Ruddy (Norwich) -- I have this joke where I walk up behind him at training and say ... Very exciting astronaut. Phil Jones (Man Utd) -- No other defender has handled LeBron James like he did in game 7 of the NBA playoffs. Joleon Lescott (Man City ...

A look at how City pipped Man Utd to the Premier League title after a season of twists ... referees actually encourage players to go to ground under contact. It's a complete joke. If a player went down under minimal contact in the centre circle a foul ...

Every club in the land could then have its own ‘results man’ at the controls ... In United’s bleaker times the idea of watching the Blues as escapism was a perverse joke. You left the ground to get away from it all, not the other way around.

It shouts out that Manchester is the current capital of football and London its second city. Man City and Man Utd finished on 89 points, 19 points ahead of Arsenal and 20 ahead of Tottenham. In 2005, Everton and Liverpool were at least fighting it out for ...

The furious Manchester United chief has been told TEN of his squad are in the frame to be for Stuart Pearce’s 18-man squad. He will not know for ... The United boss rapped: “Only 10 nominated! It’s a joke. It’s ridiculous, there are so many complications.

Man Utd deserve their place too ... and I'd like to think we deserve C.L. football next year but the reality is our league form has been the joke of the season and we haven't been close to good enough. Stuffed 4-0 by Spurs at the beginning of the season ...

I would love to know the logic for leaving Valencia out of that Man City game. It beggared belief ... 78 min Ashley Young is down. Insert your own joke here. He looks in a fair bit of pain actually, as if he might have strained or pulled ...

The police are already at Cumbernauld College, taking statements about a chucked half-brick, when I arrive for my chat with the man at the centre of the week ... The meaningless Hibs-Dundee Utd match was going through one of its especially tedious ...

Do you remember last season when Defoe cost us CL football by managing a massive 5 goals all season and missed so many sitters it was a joke? And this season he ... I mean, do you really think that if Man Utd had 29 attempts at goal against West Brom ...